Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she told me i tasted like america
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
