I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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