grandma shit on top of the toilet
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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