i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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