You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
