Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
