Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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