During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
