you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i dont even know how to be here
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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