I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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