id be glad to
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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