The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
