come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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