And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Terrible idea I love it
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
