Kiss
Puke
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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