When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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