i already hear my dad disowning me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
