u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
