I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
honey bunches of taint.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
