So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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