It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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