We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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