i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize