would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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