I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize