Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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