So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize