I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
