He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
did i just pee glitter
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