yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
