I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she peed on how many people?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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