dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
