But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Randomize
