my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
