when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
