I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
