Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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