I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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