bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
