This girl is more easily done than said...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
