You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
