I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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