worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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