for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
