Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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