Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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