Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Mom said you looked used
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
