So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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