Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
