there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think people are normalizing furries
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
