just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
