I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just pynch a tree in the face
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
