dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize