I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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