First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
