he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
