Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My balls are so social today.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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