Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
