I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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