I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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