i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
