she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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